A few months ago, I started to suspect that my wife was cheating on me.
She’d become distant and secretive. I kept catching her whispering on her phone. Suddenly she was “working late” and visiting “distant relatives” at weekends.
One Friday I decided to follow her. I watched as she checked into a hotel with her flash boss. I rang her and she pretended to be with an old school friend.
The next morning, I returned. I donned a baseball cap and dark glasses and waited in the hotel reception for them to check out. At bang on 11am, they emerged – all red faced and flustered – and I screamed: “Gotcha!”
To be fair, my wife took it with good grace. We chatted about it later and she agreed that I should be allowed to have a tit-for-tat fling of my own in return.
That evening I contacted her best friend who has been obsessed with me since school. We met in another hotel and she was so hot and desperate for my body that she virtually ate me alive. We had sex over and over again and she cried when I tried to leave.
Now she and I are meeting up all the time for wild sex. My wife admits she did wrong by sleeping with her boss, but keeps saying that “enough is enough”.
She knows I’m seeing her mate, but wants us to settle down and start again. This is complicated and I’m torn. The problem is I think I’ve fallen for my new lover.
There’s something very flattering about someone who adores me. I literally can’t do anything wrong in her eyes and that’s a wonderful feeling. My wife says I need to sober up and stop messing around, but why should I? After all, she was the one who started all this with her own tawdry affair.
JANE SAYS: A tit-for-tat fling? Face it – that idea was never going to end well.
Clearly, your wife felt she was being reasonable and modern by suggesting you sleep with someone else to even things up.
But when it comes to sex and affairs of the heart, nothing is ever straightforward.
Now you find yourself torn between two women. Your wife is telling you you’ve had your fun and now need to come home. And your lover has finally got her talons into you and isn’t prepared to let you go. Who do you love and see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Only you can decide.
Also, you and your wife need to talk about the fact that she had the affair with her boss in the first place.
What was that all about? Is she still seeing him? Does he mean something to her?
Don’t be afraid to insist on some time out if everything is getting on top of you. You have a lot of stuff to process and make sense of.
Ultimately, you may decide neither woman is absolutely right for you and choose to start again as a single man.
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