Are YOU missing hidden red flags in your relationship? Therapist reveals three statements that ‘sound healthy’ when said by a partner – but are actually a sign of serious ‘disrespect’
- Jeff Guenther has become a TikTok sensation by sharing his relationship advice
- Most recently, he revealed the phrases that you should never say to a loved one
- The therapist, from Portland, Oregon, warned that they show signs of disrespect
A therapist has revealed the three statements that you should never say to a loved one.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for regularly sharing his relationship expertise.
Most recently, he posted a video to his 2.6 million followers detailing the phases that everyone thinks are healthy but are actually ‘f***ed up.’
The love specialist explained that while these statements may come from a place of well-meaning, they can often show signs of disrespect in relationships.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for regularly sharing his relationship expertise
He recently revealed the three statements that you should never say to a loved one – including ‘Your feelings are not my responsibility’
The three ‘healthy’ statements you should never say to a loved one
- ‘Your feelings are not my responsibility’
- ‘I’m just being honest’
- ‘If you loved me you would understand/accept this of me’
He uploaded the viral clip, which has so far amassed more than 390,000 views, alongside a cation that read: ‘Three statements that sound healthy but I think are kind of f***ed up.’
The first statement the therapist took a closer look at was: ‘Your feelings are not my responsibility.’
He explained that while this is partially true, it shows that someone is not actually willing to consider you.
‘Why are you unwilling to consider the impact you’re having on my experience?’ he questioned.
The therapist continued by noting that although many things will affect your feelings, your significant other will usually play a part.
‘Especially if you’re my partner who has a significant effect on me, saying this makes you feel like you have a lack of empathy, don’t know how to take accountability, aren’t interested in emotional growth, are super dismissive, want to create distance and kind of suck at being in a relationship,’ he said.
The next statement the therapist disapproves of is: ‘I’m just being honest.’
He explains: ‘Or, are you just being super critical and want to make me feel bad, and you suck at giving feedback in a caring and compassionate way.’
The other two statements that the therapist takes issue with are ‘I’m just being honest’ and ‘If you loved me you would understand/accept this about me’
3 Statements that sound healthy but I think are kinda effed up. #therapytiktok #mentalhealth #relationshiptips #dating #boundaries #boundary
The therapist said that while this can seem like someone is being ‘straightforward and direct’, it is also a sign that person doesn’t consider your feelings and has a ‘lack of empathy.’
He added that someone who prefaces something with ‘I’m just being honest,’ would rather be ‘right’ than take your emotions into consideration.
Last but by no means least, Jeff reveals: ‘Number three: “If you loved me you would understand/accept this of me.”‘
Jeff explained that while ‘acceptance and love do go together,’ it can be ‘manipulative’ to claim that if someone loves you they have to accept everything.
‘It gives off the vibe of wanting to avoid responsibility for harmful behavior or pressure me into something that I feel super uncomfortable with.
‘Saying this makes me feel like you’re not into personal growth. You’re trying to guilt trip me and that your love is conditional on me accepting something about you that I’m not okay with,’ he concluded.
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