DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T kiss my wife on the lips since she gave one of my friends oral sex.
We have been married for a year and have a baby daughter who is eight months old.
I am a guy of 23 and she’s 21.
I knew she wasn’t focusing on us and something was up, so I got hold of her phone when she went to her mum’s one day and forgot her mobile.
On the phone were messages to other guys saying she loved them and wished she was in bed with them.
They had sent sexy messages back to her.
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I also saw something that made me sick to my stomach — pictures of her naked and doing sexual stuff which she’d sent to three different men.
I didn’t say anything to her then but I was fuming inside.
The following day, I saw a so-called mate’s number flash up on her phone.
I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.
I’ve seen him try to have sex with a blow-up doll on a mate’s stag weekend.
His message said: “Did you enjoy it as much as I did?”
This time, I confronted her to find out what the message meant.
I insisted on the truth and she finally admitted she’d been in town the day before and run into my mate in a coffee shop.
He was flirting with her and had asked if she’d go outside with him.
They went round the back and she gave him oral sex.
She even had our daughter with her — though at least she was asleep, so she didn’t see anything.
I went ballistic and told my wife it was over. I stormed out.
I went back home later, really because of my daughter, and said I would try again but this was her absolute final chance.
Now she is all over me like a rash, desperate for us to have sex so we can get back to some sort of normality.
But she has cheated on me and I can’t get it out of my head.
I don’t want to kiss her knowing where her mouth has been.
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ONE in five adults here has a tattoo . . . but two in five with a tattoo regret it.
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DEIDRE SAYS: This was a massive betrayal and it is going to take time and hard work for the trust to return.
She seems to crave attention.
When did you last spend quality time together as a couple?
Do you still enjoy each other’s company?
Do you have a good sex life?
Tell her you want to fix your relationship, if only for your daughter’s sake to start with.
Yes, she has to say how sorry she is – but she must also tell you what is lacking for her, giving you the best chance of putting this right.
You can then explain where you see how your relationship can be improved.
My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? should help you get things back on track.
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