If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I wish I could find someone with real standards who I can always count on to live with integrity and authenticity,” then you might want to put dating an Enneagram Type One at the top of your list.
For those new to Enneagrams, they’re a system that sorts personality types into nine distinct categories. What makes this so insightful for dating advice is that it’s based on what each personality prioritizes, fears, and values most in their lives. For instance, Type One places a lot of value on integrity and self-control, and also fears being corrupted or out of balance in their life. This makes them steady, reliable partners with very high standards, both for themselves and others. If you share those values, then they’re going to be a great fit for you. However, if you value spontaneity and flexibility, Type One’s going to be a challenging connection.
So, if you’ve recently swiped right on someone who fits the bill of Type One and are feeling it, here’s what you need to know about dating them.
Type One is an ethical and principled partner.
A handful of bad dates can easily make you feel like there’s no one with principles left on the planet. In that case, Type One is going to feel like a breath of fresh, ethical air. Type One takes the concepts of right and wrong very seriously and works hard to always stay in the former category. As a result, they’re reliable partners who you can count on behave the same way with you as they do when you’re apart. However, keep in mind that they expect the same from those around them. They hold themselves to very high standards and need those in their life to meet them as well.
Don’t bring them home if your house is a mess.
If you’re hitting it off with a Type One and the chemistry is popping, you might want to bring them home and take things to a more intimate level. Before you do so, though, consider the state of your home. Are there clothes on the floor? Are there dishes in the sink? When was the last time you dusted? Depending on the answers to those questions, you may want to give your date a nookie raincheck. While other types may happily overlook the clutter in favor of a passionate connection, Type One won’t. They like order and cleanliness and tend to see untidiness and disorganization as a sign of moral failing. In other words, they’re super judgy about a mess. If you’re going to bring one home, do some spring cleaning first.
Don’t be late for your date — or really, ever.
If you want to make a good impression on your Type One date, be on time because tardiness is a huge turn-off for them. They pride themselves on being super punctual and see late arrivals as a sign of disrespect. This comes down to Type One’s tendency to view things as black and white, right or wrong. Being on time is right, so being late is wrong, period.
They can be tricky to read.
While Type One is rarely ambivalent with how they’re feeling about a person or situation, they’re very good at hiding it, so they can be difficult to read. That again comes down to their drive to always be doing the right thing. If they think the right thing to do is to be friendly and engaging, they will do so even if deep down they don’t like the person, because that’s the correct way to act. It can be confusing when what feels like a great interaction leads to them calling it quits or ghosting after a date.
They don’t go with the flow easily.
If your ideal partner is very steady and reliable, then Type One is a dream. However, if you like spontaneity or someone happy to just go with the flow, then dating a Type One is going to be a very frustrating experience as they’re absolutely creatures of habit. Flexibility is not Type One’s strength; they can be very rigid because everything they do has to be assessed through their internal barometer of what’s right and wrong. Deviating from any decided upon path can be challenging for them, to say the least, so they’re most comfortable when sticking to their routine.
All the Enneagrams have their strengths and struggles; it just comes down to finding the right fit for you. But if you want a partner who prioritizes their ethics and integrity above all else, then you’ve found your match in Type One. Just make sure you’re on time to that first date.
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