Colton Underwood Admits He Once Thought He Might Be Gay: ‘I Wanted Answers’

In his new book, Colton Underwood opens up about speculation that he’s gay and how anxiety over his virginity led to confusion about his sexuality.

Colton Underwood tells all in his new book, The First Time, and even addresses quite a sensitive topic: His sexuality. Colton, a former pro football player, publicly revealed that he was a virgin when he first appeared on The Bachelorette at 26 years old, which led some Internet trolls to question how he could “possibly be straight.” Well, it turns out that this was something that Colton struggled with himself as a teenager. It all started when he was a senior in high school and broke up with his girlfriend, who was captain of the cheerleading team.

“Rumors flew around the school that I was gay,” Colton writes in the book. “The rumor became so rampant in our small town, even my mom heard about it. Embarrassed, I let her know that I’d heard the rumors, too, but they were just that — rumors. I was straight. It wasn’t my first time addressing that subject.” He goes on to detail a confrontation with his dad, which involved a browser history on the family computer.

“He’d called up the history of recent Google searches, which included gay porn sites and a variety of questions: Am I gay? How do you know if you’re gay? Why don’t I like having sex with my girlfriend?” Colton recalls. “At first, I denied responsibility. Then, I owned up to having been curious. He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, explaining that I’d figured things out on my own.”

The research, Colton says, helped him understand that he was “definitely attracted to girls.” “But it didn’t change who I was or cure me of my fears,” he adds. “It was then, as a way of protecting myself from all the stuff about relationships that gave me anxiety, I decided I would stay a virgin until I fell in love with someone.”

He goes on to wonder if his life would be “easier” if he was gay. “Maybe it would have helped me know myself better and sooner,” he explains. “Maybe I wouldn’t have stayed a virgin. Maybe I wouldn’t have asked myself, ‘Who am I?’ as often as I did and suffered as much angst because I didn’t have an answer. Identity was such a big question with me.” He explains that, as a teenager, he simply “wanted answers,” and didn’t realize at the time that he’d have to go through a lot of “trial and error” to get them.

Meanwhile, Colton does not flat-out address the status of his virginity in the book. However, he’s always been clear that he wasn’t waiting for marriage — just to find someone he loves — and he’s been dating Cassie Randolph for more than a year now. Plus, he writes, “No one talks about their sex life unless they don’t have one,” and since he’s not talking about it…well, the quote speaks for itself!

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